(or as my sister would put it, happy anniversary of your natal day!)
So for the last number of years, my birthday has been a day of depression for me... I'm not sure why, maybe it is because I am getting older, or some other reason, but I just get depressed...
I feel like people only wish me a happy birthday out of duty, and any cards or gifts are after thoughts. I don't really get anything anyways, and it just feels like any other day, nothing special to it. (I kind of feel the same way about Mother's Day) In talking with someone just yesterday, I realized, that is is more the feeling that there is a lack of thought. I think I would feel different if it was obvious that time and thought had been put into it, like making a card or gift... or getting something that had to be ordered (or something that I just really really want, as that shows that you pay attention to me and what I like), or making a reservation for dinner... something that shows you thought about it ahead of time, not just an "oh crap... let me get something on the way home". That probably sound selfish, and self centered... but its just how it seems to feel. Anywho...
Well this year was exceptionally so... my husband didn't say happy birthday in the morning, but did call later in the day. I spoke with my mom a few times, but she didn't say anything till the next day, and my kids didn't say anything till my husband had them sign a card (I hate cards... a waste of money on something that is just going to be thrown out! Unless it is a homemade card... those would be cherished). Even my brother and sister didn't try contacting me till about 9 pm... (see feels like an oh crap... better do this before time is up).
To make matters worse, it was a gloomy, rainy day, and I was having two different personal health problems. Needless to say the day sucked.! So to make myself feel better I decided to do my nails!
My favorite color is Purple, and I have fallen in love with holographic polishes and glitters! So I decided a purple holo polish was just what I needed. Added to that some stamping of "happy birthday", balloons, streamers, and cupcakes, and we have it made! I used silver holo glitter polish, and the sharpie trick to add more holo and color, and we have birthday nails.
I will say, secretly there have been things over the years that I wish people would do for me. When I turned 16, all I wanted was for someone to play the song "16 candles"... alas no one did, and nowadays I see these Birthday collage collaborations people do for other nail artists birthdays, and I just hope that one day I will get to experience the joy of one being made for me! To know that you were thought about before your birthday, and that someone spent time making something just for you! What a lovely gift!
I also hope that over time, I will become known well enough to be asked to participate in some of these collaborations. To be able to give that gift to someone else, would feel amazing. But to achieve that, I just need to do more artwork, and be better about posting!
So this was a shitty post, that I feel doesn't paint me in the best light, but if you haven't suffered from depression, that's the way it feels. Over time things can change, but you can't change the way you feel, and I don't feel like sugar coating it! Anyways, my birthday ended, and the next day was better. Now to post more pictures and write more blog entries!
Colors used:
Base Color: "Harold's Crayon" by Smitten Polish
Stamp Color: "French Tip" by Color Club
Stamp Fill Color: "This Is My Tiara!" by Smitten Polish
Happy Birthday, Balloon & Streamer Image Plate: "BM-H19" by Bundle Monster
Cupcake Image Plate: "BM-H20" by Bundle Monster
Sharpies & Alcohol for color tints
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